If she was a lolcat…

JUS DIS MORNIN I GOT TEXT TELLIN ME 2 CHECK OUT SUM BLOG WIF JUICY GOSIP BOUT TEH SO CALLD “GUCCI GANG” CURIOUSLY ENOUGH I LOGGD ON AN READ ALL TEH GOSIP AN JUICY DETAILS. WHETHR OR NOT TEH STORIEZ WUZ TRUE I DIDN’T RLY CARE 2 FIND OUT NOR DO I CARE 2 BE INVOLVD. IT MAKEZ NO DIFFERENCE IN MAH LIFE HOO DID WUT 2 WHOM IT WUZ JUS LEISURE GOSIP READ AN I WUZ JUS WAN OV TEH LOTZ DA PEEPS HOO READ TEH BLOG BUT HALFWAY THRU I BECAME QUITE DISTURBD AS IT MADE ME REMINISSENT OV TEH NUMEROUS BLOGS I WUZ ONCE TEH HAWT TOPIC OV.

BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHR I MUST STRES TEH POINT DAT DIS AR TEH NOT BOUT MAH PREVIOUS ISSUE, BUT SIMPLY TEH POINT OV VIEW OV SOMEONE HOO HAS BEEN VICTIM OV VISHUS BLOGGIN AN BLOGGIN AS NEW COMMUNICASHUN MEDIUM. 2 DOSE OV U HOO R MAS/VOLUME OR DENSE (DAT’S TEH FYSICS FORMULA 4 DENSITY 2 DOSE HOO R CLUELES) AGAIN, I REPEAT DIS AR TEH NOT REACSHUN TOWARD MAH PAST ACSHUNS.

SO LET ME CONTINUE, FURST OV ALL I BLEEV IN DA FREEDOM OV SPEECH. BY ALL MEANZ SAY WUT U NED 2 SAY. UNFORTUNATELY 4 MOST OV TEH BLOGGERS WITHOUT ADVERTISIN U GIT PAID NOTHIN. IF IN FACT U DO GIT PAID DEN HOORAH 4 U. BUT BLOGGIN, ASIDE FRUM PEREZ HILTON AN TEH OTHR HOOJ TIEM BLOGGERS (U KNOE HOO U R) IZ 4 ME SLACKR JOB OR MEDIUM AN PASTIME 4 LONELY PEEPS 2 CONNECT. UNLES U’RE IN BLOODY SIBERIA OR IN GULAG PRISON, TRY STEPPIN OUTSIDE UR COMFORT ZONE AN TURN OFF DA LAPTOP OR PC, U JUS MITE FIND SUM REAL LIV PEEPS 2 TALK 2 INSTEAD OV TYPIN AWAY IN CYBR SPACE.

ON TEH FLIPSIDE BLOGGIN CAN BE GUD SOURCE OV INFORMASHUN AN GREAT WAI 2 EXCHANGE IDEAS. DIS I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE WHETHR IT BOUT POLITICS, FASHION, FUD OR WHATEVR TOPIC U CUD CHOOSE. FRIENDLY AN HEALTHY DISCUSHUNS R ALWAYS GREAT.

TEH DIFFERENCE TWEEN JOURNALIST AN BLOGGR IZ DAT JOURNALISTS HAS 2 ADHERE 2 CERTAIN GUIDELINEZ DAT GOVERN TEH FREEDOM OV SPEECH. AN WHATEVR JOURNALIST CHOOSEZ 2 RITE BOUT—BE IT POPULAR OR UNPOPULAR—WE DO NOT HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM AN R RESIGND 2 TEH FACT DAT WE HAS 2 TAEK AS MUTCH AS WE DISH OUT. HOWEVR, I SIMPLY DETEST PEEPS HOO PLACE VISHUS COMMENTS AN SLANDEROUS STATEMENTS IN BLOGS YET SIGN THEIR MESAGEZ AS ‘ANONYMOUS.’ IF U HAS SOMETHIN 2 SAY, DON’T HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAYM. IT’S JUS PLAIN COWARDICE OV U 2 DO SO. I HAS MOAR OV DEEP SENSE OV RESPECT 4 DOSE—HOWEVR UNPOPULAR OR VISHUS THEIR STATEMENTS R—HOO POST THEIR VIEWS WIF THEIR REAL NAMEZ AN MAK NO BONEZ BOUT IT. AT LEAST THEY STAND 4 SOMETHIN; I WUD RATHR TAEK IT FRUM THEM THAN TEH COWARDZ DAT HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAMEZ.

PERHAPS IT TEH FILIPINO CULCHUR 2 FOSTR BAKSTABBIN CUZ THEY NEVR MEEN WUT THEY SAY FACE 2 FACE. JUS HOW LOTZ DA TIEMS HAS U DEALT WIF CO-WERKERS HOO WILL SMILE IN UR FACE WHEN U ASK THEM 2 PERFORM TASK OR ENGAGE IN JUS PLAIN CONVERSASHUN, WHEN IN FACT THEY R QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE WIF TEH SITUASHUN AN R FORCD 2 DO WUT THEY ABSOLUTELY DETEST WIF SMILIN FACE. I GUES IT’S TEH KIND OV CULCHUR BROUGHT BOUT BY 300 YEERS OV SPANISH COLONIZASHUN. 2 WAN PARTICULAR BLOGGR OV SPANISH DESSENT BUT WIF AN INDIO FACE, DON’T ACT LIEK PENINSULAREZ AN QUOTE SPANISH WERDZ FRUM TEH GENERASHUN OV UR ABUELITA… JEEZ AN THEY CALL ME ELITIST. TEH SPANISH RULE IZ OVAR, GIT OVAR YOURSELF AN UR ESPAñOL RELATIVEZ HOO USD 2 HAS POWR… BUT I DIGRES (OOPS, MAH BAD…) LET’S MOOV FWD.

IT’S JUS LIEK ALL DIS HULLABALOO BOUT OUSTIN GMA. U DEPOSD ERAP IN EDSA DOS. NAO U’RE UNHAPPY WIF HIS REPLACEMENT. MAK UP UR MINDZ. (4 DA RECORD I’M NOT PRO ANYBODY I’M PRO WHATEVR LESR EVIL IZ OUT THAR). U CAN’T OVERTHROW WAN PRESIDENT DEN DECIDE U MADE MISTAEK WIF UR SECOND CHOICE. I’S NOT LIEK BUYIN GREEN HERMEZ BAG AN SUDDENLY DECIDIN, OOPS I SHUD HAS GOTTEN TEH BLACK WAN INSTEAD. UNFORTUNATELY DAT’S TEH KIND OV NASHUN WE HAS BECOME, BUNCH OV WISHY-WASHY WHINERS HOO WHINE BOUT EVRYTHIN UNDR TEH SUN AN FINDZ TEH BLOG SFERE 2 BE TEH NEW MEDIUM 4 WHININ. YEZ WE DO WUT WE HAS 2 DO AS NASHUN 2 GIT THINGS DUN AN STOP CORRUPSHUN AN EVIL (I’M ALL 4 DAT) BUT WE NEVR SEEM 2 BE HAPPEH WIF WUT WE HAS, HENCE TEH COMPLAININ AN WHININ. IT JUS NEVR STOPS.

I SUPPOSE I STARTD SUM KIND OV TREND BY ELICITIN NASTY COMMENTS AN REACSHUNS VIA BLOG CUZ OV MAH INDISCRESHUN. BUT IT SEEMS 2 BE COMFORTABLE MEDIUM 4 PEEPS 2 VENT THEIR ANGR ON JUS BOUT EVRYTHIN THEY DISAGREE WIF. I HAS BEEN CALLD AN IRRESPONSIBLE JOURNALIST SO WUT DOEZ DAT MAK U? IT EASY 2 HIDE UNDR TEH GUIZE OV ANONYMITY U CAN SAY JUS BOUT ANYTHIN U WANTS CUZ U HAS NO REPERCUSHUNS 2 DEAL WIF. IT’S EASY 2 HIDE BEHIND FALSE MONIKR ISN’T IT?

JUS THOT 2 PONDR ON… MAYBE I SHUD START AN ANONYMOUS BLOG AN RLY LET GO… BUT DEN AGAIN I DON’T WANTS 2 BE RESPONSIBLE 4 WURLD WAR 3 AN I WUD SLEEP MUTCH BETTR BEAN BRUTALLY HONEST IN UR FACE THAN HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM. WOULDN’T IT BE HILARIOUS IF I STARTD BLOG JUS 2 SHAEK THINGS UP AN GOT TON OV MONEY IN ADVERTISIN? IF I DOEZ DECIDE 2 DO DAT I THANK U ALL IN ADVANCE 4 INSPIRIN ME… I’M ALWAYS GLAS HALF FULL KINDA GURL ANYWAY…

Image by ICANHASCHEZZBURGER.COM, text by me
Translation by Speak LOLCAT

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