[RANT]What’s with companies and their very imaginative product naming conventions? Seriously, Sony? Bloggie, and now, Move? Move on![/RANT]

Anyway, after speculations on what would be the name of Sony’s answer to Nintendo’s Wii Remote (the most common being Arc), Sony has announced in Game Developers Conference 2010 that its motion controller shall be called PlayStation Move.

Expect it to arrive in stores last quarter of this year (in the US, that is) in 3 ways: standalone, a starter kit with 1 PlayStation Move, one EyeToy – which is required, BTW, to use PS Move, and one unnamed game (unnamed so far), and one bundled with a PS3. Only the starter kit has a price – US$100.

Am I excited? I dunno. It depends on the gameplay, I guess. But look-wise? It’s like a scepter or something. That globe on top is the dealbreaker. I hope you can use the Move without that globe.

(Image edited, original at Joystiq.)

Too bad for Gilberto “Gibo” Teodoro, his “galing at talino” is not apparent during his stint as Secretary of National Defense.

I will not deny the general observation about Gibo during those debates and fora – he is articulate, he gave the best answers to difficult questions, and he has the charisma to charm even members of his own gender (and preference). The overall assessment is that Gibo is quite intelligent, knowledgeable in fields that no ordinary politician will delve into. In short,

In an ideal world (and circumstance), Gibo is the best choice in this year’s candidates for the presidency. But this is reality.

Teodoro was Secretary of National Defense (SecDef) from August 2007 (replacing Avelino Cruz, who resigned allegedly due to policy differences with Gloria Arroyo) till he resigned last year to seek the presidency. As SecDef, he had direct supervision over the Armed Forces of the Philippines. How did he fare as SecDef. Patricia Evangelista answers in her Philippine Daily Inquirer column, The guns of Gibo:

In a testimony by Esmael “Toto” Mangudadatu, husband and brother of many of the victims from the Nov. 23 Maguindanao massacre, Teodoro had warned him repeatedly to curb his intention to challenge the Ampatuans for Maguindanao’s governorship. The Ampatuans, he said, were prone to violence, and Mangudadatu risked his own life by choosing to throw the electoral gauntlet. This is the same Teodoro, by his own admission, who used the Ampatuans as a buffer against the MILF in his term in national defense. His was a choice to pander to the Ampatuans’ demands, choosing to appeal to the Mangudadatus not to exercise their legal and democratic right to run for public office, asking them not to offend his guard dogs in Maguindanao.

And still, when bodies were being scraped out of the foothills of Sitio Masalay, Teodoro bewailed how the massacre “had laid to waste” all the good he did as defense chief, forgetting that his choices as defense chief permitted the massacre to happen. It is odd that he feels himself exempt from responsibility. When asked why he did not disarm the Ampatuans when he could, he claims it would have been difficult to disarm them “given the circumstance,” with kidnappings and tension over the Bangsamoro treaty. It can also be argued, it would have been difficult to disarm them while they remained allies of his own President.

And so fifty seven lives (at least thirty four were journalists) were gone, snuffed out by people who think they can murder people like they swat house flies. A massacre done by people who could have been disarmed by the security forces who was then headed by someone named Gibo Teodoro. He could have ordered the AFP to dismantle all private armies, but he did not. The Ampatuan massacre will stand as strong testimony on Gibo’s galing at talino.

As SecDef, he also headed the National Disaster Coordinating Council, the lead agency when it comes to disaster management and relief. The Wikipedia article for Teodoro has this curious line on the second paragraph of the entry:

He was also known for his contributions to the people after Typhoon Ondoy hit the Philippines.

Curious, because majority of victims of Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana) will dispute that assertion. Curious, because maybe that’s the point of whoever wrote that Wikipedia article – his contributions to the man-made disaster that was NDCC’s actions during Ondoy’s inundation. He was head of DND/NDCC since 2007, and Ondoy visited Luzon last year. The NDCC under better leadership could have prepared for disasters by investing in necessary rescue assets. The flooding had caught NDCC with its pants down, and the general assessment was that the NDCC just did not know what to do. In fact, the NDCC had abdicated from its role and instead contented itself spewing statistics. And the most damning testimony of Teodoro’s galing at talino was the private sector’s massive effort in disaster relief, filling in for a non-existent, Teodoro-led NDCC.

And lastly, his statement that he would not actively push for the prosecution of his patron, Gloria Arroyo, is in itself a reason why I am not voting for him. I believe that Arroyo should be prosecuted for all the crimes that she committed in all those years she spent as president. I will not vote for Teodoro precisely because he has already exonerated her.

He might be intelligent, but I cannot see him using that intelligence for the common good. Not before, not now, and not ever.

(Read Gibbs Cadiz’ take on Manny Villar, Noynoy Aquino, and Gibo Teodoro. Read his comments on Gibo; Gibbs has demolished that “galing at talino” shit much better than I could.)

What is interesting about food is that, like an artwork, there is a story behind it.

Take, for example, Krispy Kreme’s Baked Creations. In a jaunt with bloggers, Rick Cavanaugh, Director of Research and Development for Krispy Kreme, shared the impetus behind Baked Creations. Rick said that in the US, donuts are basically breakfast food, and here in the Philippines, donuts are rather treated as desserts or merienda. Krispy Kreme wants to improve on that impression and add the idea that Krispy Kreme is good for breakfast, too.

So Krispy Kreme went to work, experimented with everything, and then came up with two lines of Baked Creations. The Pull Aparts are based on North Carolina’s handrolled balls of dough, also called as monkey bread (because people just pull some piece from the bread, like monkeys LOL). The Pull Aparts come in several variants – Cheese, Bacon & Cheese, Sausage & Cheese and Cinnamon.

Apparently, on its second day of stealth launch, Bacon and Cheese is a hit, and so does Sausage and Cheese. In fact, in yesterday’s launch, all the Bacon and Cheese and Sausage and Cheese Pull Aparts were goners! So I got stuck with the Original Kruffin, which is basically a muffin with a hole in the middle, with cream in the hole. The muffin was soft, slightly sweet, typically Krispy Kreme.

According to Rick, these creations are baked per day, and only enough amount are baked per day, because these only have a shelf life of one day. No wonder those Bacon and Sausage Pull Aparts ran out quickly.

Kruffins are priced Php 65.00 and comes in Double Chocolate, Apple Streussel, Blueberry, and Classic Kruffin. Pull Aparts are priced Php 75.00. These are available are Krispy Kreme Ayala Avenue and Greenhills branches at the moment. Right now, only the Philippines and Australia have these Baked Creations. Press release follows.

Newest Sweet & Savory Creations from Krispy Kreme

Before, Filipinos have only known the doughnut as the sweet, round-shaped dough – and nothing more. However, global doughnut brand Krispy Kreme changed this with the introduction of its infamous confectionary inventions in partnership with popular brands such as Hershey’s, Reese’s, Snickers and Oreos (to name a few). Suddenly, Manila was abuzz with excitement – the welcome arrival of Krispy Kreme has signaled a bright doughy future.

This 2010, Krispy Kreme is back to offer something deliciously different as it launches its Baked Creations. This newest addition to the line of Krispy Kreme offerings comes in two new options: the Kruffins, an American style hand made muffin-with-a-hole filled with rich and delicious fruits, nuts or chocolate with varieties which include Double Chocolate, Apple Streussel, Blueberry and Classic Kruffin; and the Pull Aparts – the North Carolina original hand-rolled balls of dough, pulled apart and laid to form a doughnut like sweet bread, filled with sweet or savory varieties such as Cheese, Bacon & Cheese, Sausage & Cheese and Cinnamon. Like the doughnuts everyone has grown to love, these new Krispy Kreme sensations are the perfect companions to Krispy Kreme’s freshly brewed Signature Coffee.

“Krispy Kreme is a brand for sharing – which makes it a well-loved doughnut chain in the Philippines and the rest of the world,” says Mark Gamboa, Marketing Manager of Krispy Kreme. “The introduction of the Baked Creations of Krispy Kreme here in the country is our way of showing our eagerness to give Filipinos something delightfully new to share and enjoy everyday.”

Since the 1930s until now, Krispy Kreme has continually responded to the growing clamor of the doughnut brand’s loyal fans for their globally-famous delights which include the Original Glazed – made from a secret recipe that has been passed on from generations since the store was first established at Winston-Salem, North Carolina, USA. From then on, it has already built a fan base of well-known personalities, which include NBA star Shaquille O’Neal, pop star Beyonce, and even hot Hollywood celebrities like Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise, and Nicole Kidman.

In the Philippines, the popularity of the doughnut chain grew the moment it came in 2006 at its very first branch at Bonifacio High Street in Taguig. And with the fresh, mouthwatering pastries that come out of Krispy Kreme’s conveyor belt, its fame is destined to glaze everyone soon.

Grab the new Krispy Kreme baked creations soon to come in the dougnut chain’s Greenhills and Ayala stores. You may also visit any of the following Krispy Kreme Branches: Bonifacio High Street, Greenhills Shopping Center Drive-Thru, SM Mall of Asia, Trinoma Cinema Level, SM Megamall, SM Mall of Asia Drive-Thru, Ayala Avenue, Robinsons Galleria, Gateway Mall, Glorietta 4, SM City Annex (North EDSA), Annex 2 SM Fairvew, Eastwood, Marquee Mall Pampanga, SM San Lazaro & SM Manila (coming soon) or call 0917-8053000 & (02) 633-2313. Also, be sure to log on to www.krispykreme.com.ph and be a Friend of Krispy Kreme to get updates.

The single that HSJ fangirls (and boys) are waiting for since that cowboy single (errr, Mayonaka no Shadow Yamada, err, Boy).

I dunno, I don’t find it a compelling listen. Even the B-side I find forgettable. This one’s better, but it’s not a single from HSJ. And come on, these kids had debuted since Chinen’s a kid! These kids deserve an album already!

Shadow Boy is my least favorite HSJ single (I like the B-songs of the single, for the record). Hitomi no screen’s my second least favorite.

Hitomi no Screen [Regular Edition] by Hey! Say! JUMP at CD Japan

Hitomi no Screen [w/ DVD, Limited Edition] by Hey! Say! JUMP at CD Japan

Hitomi No Screen [Regular Edition] by Hey! Say! Jump at Play-Asia.com

Hitomi No Screen [CD+DVD Limited Edition] by Hey! Say! Jump at Play-Asia.com

HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT *facepalm*

I can only shake my head in amusement. Sure, it’s a catchy song, and prolly a good example of Engrish. To be fair, at the 2009-2010 Johnny’s Countdown, Ryo Nikishido was in Osaka with KANJANI-(insert infinity symbol here), but he sang with NEWS, who were in Tokyo! Talk about being a trouper.

Anyway, here are the romaji and English translation:

Koi no ABO
Youtachi nani gata?

Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!
Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!
Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!

HEY A
Kichoumen Believer
HEY B
My Pace na banchou
Uranai ja aishou wa batsu
Nantoka naru deshou
HEY O
Romanticist Leader
AB
Tsundere Producer
Dare ni demo chousho to tansho
Real de aru desho?

Pop na Hip ga Bump
Odorouze
Hit na Song ga Bump
Mori agare
Such a Cute na Smile
Stage ni agare

Koishite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Unmei ga Fever
Shinjite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Kanjin na Feeling
Subete wo sarake dashite
Koi wo shiyou yo

HEY O
Pride Everest
AB
Marude Jekyll Hyde
Uranai ja aishou wa batsu
Nantoka naru deshou
HEY A
Tere ya na bengoshi
HEY B
Unique na Dreamer
Dare ni demo chousho to tansho
Real de aru desho?

Pop na Touch de Bump
Dakiyosete
Rich na Lip ga Bump
Uraitai
Nicchi mo sacchi mo DANCE
Stage ni agare

Koishite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Unmei wa Funky
Kanjite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Kanzen ni Falling
Subete wo sarake dashite
Koi wo shiyou yo

Yureru kage mitsumeau
Futari dakiaeba kore ga koi no ABO

Koishite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Unmei ga Fever
Shinjite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Kanjin na Feeling
Subete wo sarake dashite

Koishite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Unmei wa Funky
Kanjite taito
Iin janai
HOT HOT HOT
Kanzen ni Falling
Subete wo sarake dashite
Koi wo shiyou yo
Koi wo shiyou yo
Koi no ABO
Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!
Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!
Koi yo! Koi yo! Koi no! ABO!

(English translation follows)

Love’s ABO
You are what blood type?

Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!
Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!
Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!

HEY A
A methodical believer
HEY B
A my pace group boss
Our fortunes say we’re not compatible
Surely we can work it out
HEY O
A romanticist leader
AB
A tsundere producer
Everyone has their strong points and weak points
Is this really real?

Those hips go pop and bump
Let’s dance
Those hit songs go bump
It’s starting to heat up
That’s such a cute smile
Rise up to the stage

Isn’t it okay to
act like I’m in love?
HOT HOT HOT
Fate is a fever
Isn’t it okay to
act like I believe?
HOT HOT HOT
It is an essential feeling
Everything is exposed
Fall in love!

HEY O
Has pride as high as Everest
AB
Seems like Jekyll and Hyde
Our fortunes say we’re not compatible
Surely we can work it out
HEY A
A shy lawyer
HEY B
A unique dreamer
Everyone has their strong points and weak points
Is this really real?

That touch is pop and bump
Let’s embrace
Those rich lips go bump
I want the reverse
No way can I dance
Rise up to the stage

Isn’t it okay to
act like I’m in love?
HOT HOT HOT
Fate is funky
Isn’t it okay to
act like I feel it?
HOT HOT HOT
Everything is falling into place
Everything is exposed
Fall in love!

I gaze at the swaying shadows
If we both embrace, this is love’s ABO

Isn’t it okay to
act like I’m in love?
HOT HOT HOT
Fate is a fever
Isn’t it okay to
act like I believe?
HOT HOT HOT
It is an essential feeling
Everything is exposed

Isn’t it okay to
act like I’m in love?
HOT HOT HOT
Fate is funky
Isn’t it okay to
act like I feel it?
HOT HOT HOT
Everything is falling into place
Everything is exposed
Fall in love!
Fall in love!
Love’s ABO
Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!
Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!
Come on! It’s love! Love’s ABO!

Lyrics and English translation from here.

Buy Koi no ABO [Regular Edition] by NEWS at CDJapan.

Buy Koi no ABO [Regular Edition] by NEWS at YesAsia.

Buy Koi No ABO [Japan regular edition] by NEWS at Play-Asia.com.

Buy Koi No ABO [Hong Kong regular edition] by NEWS at Play-Asia.com.

Tegomasu/Tegomass is one of the Johnny’s group with better voices. Too bad Tegomass is just a temporary group. Tanabata Matsuri is a lively song.

Tanabata Matsuri

Tokyo no sora niwa hoshi ga nain datte ne
Kimi kara no tegami ni wa sou kaite atta kedo
Kocchi wa aikawarazu sa nanimo kawarinai
Kono jiki ni naru to matsuri no junbi sa

Eki mae no shoutengai no sasa kazari
Kimi mo shitteru keshiki sa
Kodomo tachi wa hashaide hashiri mawaru
Ano koro to kawaranai yo

Tanabata matsuri ga chikazuku yoru wa
Narande aruita koto omoidasu
Oboete iru kana futari de nagameta
Manten no hoshizora ni ai ni oide yo

Kaeru no naku wadachi wo aruite
Sasa wo tori ni itta ne oboete iru?
Kimi wa itsumo aoiro no tanzaku
Eranda koto oboete iru?

Tanabata matsuri ga chikazuku yoru wa
Narande aruita koto omoidasu
Oboete iru kana futari de nagameta
Manten no hoshizora ni ai ni oide yo

Ganbari sugiru no ga kimi dakedo sa
Tama niwa tachidomatte mitara
Mukashi tanzaku ni kaita “negai” wo
Isshou ni omoidasou yo

Tanabata matsuri ga chikazuku yoru wa
Narande aruita koto omoidasu
Oboete iru kana futari de nagameta
Manten no hoshizora ni ai ni oide yo

Lalala…

Manten no hoshizora ni ai ni oide yo
Manten no hoshizora ni ai ni oide yo

English translation:

“There are no stars in Tokyo’s sky”
That’s what you’d written in your letter
But here it is the same as always, nothing has changed
When it gets to this time of year, we prepare for the festival

The shopping street in front of the station displays bamboo twigs
It’s a scene that you know as well
Kids are running around excitedly
It hasn’t changed from how it used to be

On nights when the Tanabata festival draws near
I remember how we walked along together
I wonder if you remember how we gazed at the sky together
Come and meet me in that sky full of stars

We walked along the path of the croaking frogs
And we went to get some bamboo, right? Do you remember?
You always chose the light blue paper
To write your wish on. Do you remember?

On nights when the Tanabata festival draws near
I remember how we walked along together
I wonder if you remember how we gazed at the sky together
Come and meet me in that sky full of stars

Trying too hard is the way that you are
But sometimes you should try pausing
The “wishes” we wrote long ago on the strips of paper
Let’s remember them together

On nights when the Tanabata festival draws near
I remember how we walked along together
I wonder if you remember how we gazed at the sky together
Come and meet me in that sky full of stars

Lalala…

Come and meet me in the sky full of stars
Come and meet me in the sky full of stars

(Lyrics and translation taken from the Youtube page.)

Tanabata Matsuri [Regular Edition] / Tegomass (Tegomasu) at CDJapan

Tanabata Matsuri [w/ DVD, Limited Edition] / Tegomass (Tegomasu) at CDJapan

Tanabata Matsuri [CD+DVD Limited Edition] / Tegomass (Tegomasu) at Play-Asia.com

Tanabata Matsuri / Tegomass (Tegomasu) at Play-Asia.com

Tanabata Matsuri [Normal Edition] / Tegomass (Tegomasu) at Yes Asia

I spent the Christmas/New Year holidays watching Japanese dramas, among other things. I completed seasons 1 and 2 of Gokusen, which formed the bulk of what I has watched. Looking back, I had no idea why I chose Gokusen. Maybe I was tired of WWE (haven’t downloaded any WWE PPV since…. heck, I can’t even remember). Maybe it was a random click on a bookmarked page.

Anyway, I do not regret watching Gokusen. Sure, the show was formulaic and corny, but it was a funny corny show. Every episode made me laugh, though there were awkward moments. But I do have some beef with the show.

I know it paid handsomely to stick to the formula, but they could have deviated a bit from it. The formula consists of:
* Yankumi being hired to handle a difficult class. That is a given, and the root of all the plot points. Also, is she handling other classes?
* The students hate her. At first, of course. Would it be wacky if at least one student liked her immediately?
* A student (or group of students) will get into a fight and lose spectacularly. And from time to time, it’s the same set of students who got beaten to a pulp. I wonder if insurance companies would cover the expenses.
* Yankumi runs to the rescue. She was always running. That’s why she was always late: her kawaii students were already pulpy bits when she got to the scene. She should have invested in a motorbike. Poor handsome faces.
* No warm feeling after each rescue. The poor students have to have some shred of dignity left, you know. Besides, she came in late, when they were already vegetables.
* Yankumi gets into trouble at the end of the season. She is always forced to leave the school. Sometimes you have to admire her patience.
* The difficult class manages to graduate. The school closes down soon thereafter.
* She doesn’t get the boy of his fancy. Maybe the fighting’s her outlet for love frustrations.

If you are a nitpicker, there are loads to nitpick at this series, but hey, the series is fun. As a former teacher, the show validates some of my thoughts about teaching. And on watching the show, I was glad I left the academe – if I stayed on, I would have turned into an apathetic teacher.

Acting by Yukie Nakama and Katsuhisa Namase were excellent. Namase was wicked, and Nakama pulled it off playing Yankumi – dreamy and determined at necessary scenes. I don’t dig most of the student characters, like Kazuya Kamenashi. They just frown and shout and lie beaten down. Maybe that’s why out of all those actors playing students, only Tomohiro Waki managed to stay on throughout the series.

I love the music. You should go buy it, seriously.

Gokusen the Movie is available at Yes Asia.

Gokusen the Movie is available on Blu-ray and DVD at CD Japan.

Get the Gokusen 2002 DVD Box at CD Japan.

Get the Gokusen 2005 DVD Box at CD Japan.

Get the Gokusen 2008 DVD Box at CD Japan.

Get the Gokusen 2008 DVD Box at Play-Asia.com.

Get the magnificent Gokusen Original Soundtrack at CD Japan.

Get the magnificent Gokusen Original Soundtrack at Play-Asia.com.

Finished watching Gokusen 2, and this is the ending song. Will be posting something about the show soon. It is too amusing to let it pass like that. Watch out for it!

NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Ashita he NO MORE CRY ashita he NO MORE CRY

Konna ni taisetsu na hito ga chikaku ni iru koto sae mo
Kidukazu ni namida nagashitari
Tsukue no rakugaki no naka ni kagayaita yume no kakera
Hitori mune ni kakushitari

Sonna LONELY DAYS kurikaesu no wa mou yame you
Kono sora no iro ni kae you Yeah
Nigedasu koto ni narete itanda
Jibun dake dato susande tanda
Sonna kinou no boku ni wa sayonara

Hashiri dasu yo NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Kimi no te mo hiite yukeru
Ashita he NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Kanashimi janaku yorokobi no namida wo nagashi tai

Ano hi no kimi no yasashi sa ni sunao ni nare nai boku wa
Chiisana te wo furi haratta

Hodoketa mama no kutsu himo ja hashire nai yo
Kono sora wo fukaku suikomou Yeah
Taisetsu na koto wasuretetanda
Mirai kara me wo sorashite tanda
Sonna kinou no boku ni wa sayonara

Hashiri dasu yo NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Kimi ga soba ni ite kureta
Egao de NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Nando demo yari naoseru

Talk to me about you,baby konna ni mo kimi wo motomeru
Itsudemo Stay with me for loving you,baby
Hitori dewa ikite yuke nai kitto dare mo ga
Kogoeta yubisaki wo furete atatame taiyo
Me ni utsuru subete wo ima wa dakishimetai

Hashiri dasu yo NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Kimi no te mo hiite yukeru
Ashita he NO MORE CRY NO MORE CRY
Kanashimi janaku yorokobi no namida wo nagashi tai

NO MORE CRY, NO MORE CRY
Kanashimi janaku yorokobi no namida wo nagashi tai

Buy this single No More Cry (D-51) at Play-Asia.com.

Buy this single – NO MORE CRY by D-51 – at CDJapan.

This is just a short review of the movie. If you like movies that make you sit on the edge of the seat; if you like movies so intense you cannot help but go to the toilet and pee, 2012 is a movie to your liking. It is like a nightmare lasting for more than 2 hours, most of it harrowing bordering on the impossible.

Leave the thinking at the lobby. There are points in the movie that will astound your intelligence. The telecommunications infrastructure is so robust and indestructible that characters in the movie were able to communicate with each other, even if the place was falling apart. Some characters talk too much despite the fact that time was at a premium. And some of the scenes were predictable; I am afraid my seatmate last night was annoyed by the fact that I kept on saying what would happen in a scene.

I like Oliver Platt. He is a character actor that can play any role. John Cusack was blah. Woody Harrelson was wacky and at his element. Danny Glover was subdued. The kids performed admirably.

The idea of putting a human element in the story fails. This is offset by the special effects. The CGI was wonderful. The disaster scenes – specially California crumbling down, the humongous explosion at Yellowstone, the destruction of the Vatican – give me goosebumps whenever I remember them. And there’s a nightmarish feel to it. I can imagine myself being in those horrific scenes.

The only conclusion that I can derive from the movie: Sony Vaio and Sony Ericsson phones will survive the end of the world. The Air Force One will not. I cannot say the same about submarines.

2012 is an enjoyable movie, and I had never seen such an intense movie since Saving Private Ryan. It is worth your two hours.

The commissioners of Commission on Elections are intellectually brilliant persons who can interpret the laws with such ease, you cannot help but wonder if their brains are actually composed of 20 Intel Core i7 processors.

The Comelec Second Division, headed by Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer, with Commissioners Elias Yusoph and Lucenito Tagle as members, has just rejected for the second time the application of Ang Ladlad Party for accreditation in the next year’s party list elections because it “tolerates immorality”.

Yes, you read that right. Our intellectually brilliant commissioners disqualified Ang Ladlad, a party representing gays and lesbians, because (according to the Philippine Daily Inquirer report) the practice of homosexuality offends morals.

Absolutely brilliant! Magnificently well thought of! A decision worthy of making required reading in all law schools in the world! And every bar examinee should be tested about that groundbreaking decision! This decision will establish a lot of precedents, and debunks other precedents!

Let me explain why this decision is brilliant.

* In deciding this case, the Second Division has marvelously forgotten (intentional or not, it does not matter) that the 1987 Philippine Constitution has two provisions regarding religion.

Article II, Section 6 states “The separation of Church and State shall be inviolable.”

Article III, Section 5 states “No law shall be made respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever be allowed. No religious test shall be required for the exercise of civil or political rights.”

By this decision, the Comelec has reaffirmed these two provisions – except that it does not apply to Filipino citizens who are gays and lesbians. Brilliant!

* The decision is based on the Second Division’s interpretation of Article II, Section 13, which states “The State recognizes the vital role of the youth in nation-building and shall promote and protect their physical, moral, spiritual, intellectual, and social well-being. It shall inculcate in the youth patriotism and nationalism, and encourage their involvement in public and civic affairs.”

By this decision, the Second Division has explicitly defined morality as to be sexual in nature. In short, there is nothing immoral in lying! There is nothing immoral in cheating! There is no immorality in stealing! Murder is not immoral! As long as what you are doing is not sexual in nature, it is not immoral!

* This decision should give comfort to parents everywhere – yes, including parents who beat and/or rape their children with impunity – that their children will be safe from moral degradation. This should give comfort to parents who beat and/or molest their children – they are not doing anything immoral! Physical abuse is not immoral since it is not sexual in nature! Molestation is not immoral as long as they are not homosexual!

* The decision liberally quotes from the Bible and the Q’uran, establishing two facts: (1) that religious literature is part of jurisprudence, and (2) that our system of government is really theocracy in bad disguise. The decision encourages the political elite to shed this hideous disguise and be upfront about the theocratic leanings of the State. But don’t panic! As long as you are moral, the Pope will bless you seventy times seven (just make sure you don’t forget to donate)!

* The case at bar is about accrediting a party for participation in the party list elections. The decision cited provisions of the Revised Penal Code in deciding to dismiss Ang Ladlad’s petition. This decision sets the precedent that the Revised Penal Code applies in accrediting party list organizations. This will have a wide repercussion going forward. But don’t panic! As long as you are moral, it should not be an issue if your party is involved in corruption!

With all these reasons, there is no doubt that this decision will withstand the test of time. It is indeed a landmark decision! Volumes will be written praising this decision! And these brilliant and intelligent commissioners will be declared saints soon!

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Seriously, you might want to read the decision. Here is the PDF file of the said decision. Here it is online. Read it.