Battle of proxies

I was fortunately unfortunate to have seen Clash of the Titans twice in a day. Unfortunate, because the first one was enjoyable; seeing it the second time was blah.

Let me start with a warning: if you have to see this film, don’t bother with the 3D version. Let me share a joke. When the end credits were showing (the first time I saw the movie), I told a friend that the credits were designed for 3D. After the second screening, another friend joked that the end credits were the only real 3D scenes in the movie. Yes, you can actually watch the 3D movie without the goggles.

Anyway, on with the movie. The title was a misnomer, as no Titan was harmed in the movie (since by the time of the story, the Titans were long gone). It should have been titled “Battle of the Proxies” since it was Hades vs. Zeus fought by proxies Kraken and Perseus. If they are pertaining to the battle scenes, well, there’s nothing titanic about them. In fact, I found some of the scenes annoying, specially when the Hades critters snatched the Medusa head from Perseus. I felt that the scenes that followed were unnecessary; it did not contribute anything to heighten the tension.

There was no sense of urgency nor distress in the movie. I felt detached from the problems confronting Argos, Andromeda, and Perseus. In fact, I was tempted to shout “Buti nga!” when Argos was about to be destroyed by the Kraken. There was no emotional attachment at all. The story was presented that blandly.

Maybe it was the way the actors presented their characters. For example, that religious lunatic. His character was so annoying, and does not add anything to the story. The one who played Io (Gemma Arterton) was a distraction – she looks so much like Anne Curtis, I was expecting a wardrobe malfunction. (Speaking of wardrobe, a friend said the Io character looked like a labandera.) Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes were disappointing in the movie – bland, blank, emotionless. And the ladies were doubly disappointed by Sam Worthington’s acting and lack of topless scenes.

The effects were inconsistently amazing and lackluster. I am sure a lot were distracted by Zeus’ sparkling armor. And comparing to Hades, Zeus looks like a wimp. As I have said, the Kraken was not scary; it was neither awe-inspiring. And the most disappointing aspect of the movie is in the non-3Dness of its 3D version. I find that some scenes were darker as compared to the non-3D version. It might be the glasses, but those shouldn’t be a factor. I got the feeling that the 3D was an afterthought, to earn more monies.

Overall, it’s a good distraction, but don’t bother watching it the second time around. And don’t waste your money on watching the 3D version.