Challenge: Translate to understandable English, and then name the author. Winner gets the UberRetardedGeek Award of 2007.

No cheating. Cheaters go to hell.

—

CAT!111!! OMG WHO HAST PASD THY GRAND CLIACT3RIC
HOW MANY MIEC AND RATS HAST IN THY DAYS
DESTROYD????! WTF – HOW MANY TIT BITS S2L3N??!?? LOL GAEZ
WITH THOSA BRIGHT LANGUID SEGMENTS GREN AND PRIK
THOSE VELVAT EARS – BUT PRYTHE DO NOT STIK
THY LAETNT TALONS IN M3 – AND UPRASEE
THY GENTL3 MAW – AND TEL MA AL THY FRAYS
OF FISH AND MIEC AND RATS AND T3NDER CHIK
NAY!!!!!! OMG WTF LOK NOT DOWN NOR LIK THY DANETY WRISTS –
FOR AL TEH WHEZY ASTHMA – AND FOR AL
THY TALES TIP SI NIKD OF – AND THOUGH TEH FISTS
OF MANY A MADE HAEV GIEVN THE MANY A MALE
STIL SI TAHT FUR AS SOFT AS WHEN DA LISTS
IN U THOU ENTERDST ON GLAS BOTLED WAL!!!111 WTF

—

Or another version, if you want:

KAT! HOO HAST PASD THY GRAND CLIACTERIC,
HOW LOTZ DA MICE AN RATS HAST IN THY DAIS
DESTROYD? – HOW LOTZ DA TIT BITS STOLEN? GAZE
WIF DOSE BRIGHT LANGUID SEGMENTS GREEN, AN PRICK
DOSE VELVET EARS – BUT PRYTHEE DO NOT STICK
THY LATENT TALONS IN ME – AN UPRAIZE
THY GENTLE MEW – AN TELL ME ALL THY FRAYS
OV FISH AN MICE, AN RATS AN TENDR CHICK.
NAY, LOOK NOT DOWN, NOR LICK THY DAINTY WRISTS –
4 ALL TEH WHEEZY ASTHMA, – AN 4 ALL
THY TAILS TIP IZ NICKD OFF – AN THOUGH TEH FISTS
OV LOTZ DA MAID HAS GIVEN THEE LOTZ DA MAIL,
STILL IZ DAT FUR AS SOFT AS WHEN TEH LISTS
IN YOUTH THOU ENTERDST ON GLAS BOTTLD WALL.