Our Lord Prime Syncophant, the Right Honorable Lord Chancellor, Our lords and members of the House of Reprehensibles, the Right Honorable MisChief Magistrate:

We are facing the crucial moment in history, wherein Our kingdom’s greatest generation has faced and has hurdled many obstacles. But now We are facing what is probably the greatest challenge Our government has ever faced. The economic crisis that grips the world is probably the worst since ancient times, a roller coaster of high economic growth and increasing number of poor. It is like a tsunami that is threatening to drown this kingdom.

But with Our foresight and wisdom, We have softened the shock of the economic crisis. We have enough funds to sustain Our lavish lifestyle; the royal barn is full of grain, and the royal motorized vehicles will never run out of gasoline. We thank the Heavens for giving Us the guts to institute reforms to weather this crisis. We thank the Parliament, specially the House of Reprehensibles, for its groveling support to Our glorious reign. We thank all the foolish people who continuously support Our royal lifestyle through levies and taxes and their apathy. We don’t care if Our royal reign is disliked, for We know that we get the job done – to sustain and maintain the status quo.

We have not lived with the poor. We do not care about the miserables lives they live. We are mostly concerned with our privileged life and the maintenance of Our glorious reign. It is the prime duty of the House of Miserable Lords to live with the poor, to care for them, of course, with Our royal blessing.

We praise the lowly citizens for their undying loyalty and support to Our glorious reign. While the enemies of Our glorious reign may continue maligning Our royal character, the miserable poor will continue living their miserable lives, paying no heed to Our glorious satisfaction and happiness. They will pay no heed to Our enemies.

We praise the apathetic people who do not care about Our glorious reign. For their apathy has sustained Our glorious reign, through their prompt and complete payment of taxes, while paying no heed to the activities of Our glorious government. They are truly enlightened, who see that Our actions and decisions are not in their purview. They are wise to leave the running of the country to Our royal government.

We have instituted several goals to sustain the status quo. We wanted to make sure the Our glorious reign continues till forever, and for that We have set goals. Most of these goals might have been unpopular, but We remain steadfast in our decision to levy additional taxes. The imposition of the Vulture-like Asinine Tax has been so unpopular, but We remain adamant that this imposition is important to maintain sufficiency of the royal funds to sustain Our glorious reign. Take this tax away, and see the status quo crumble. Lifting this imposition is like abdicating Our royal prerogative.

Leadership requires necessary decision, and We have firmly resolved to maintain this tax.

We have resolved, further, for the betterment of the status quo. We will continue taxing the apathetic people while lifting the tax burden of the poor. This will lead for the poor to live decadent lives, which will lead to a robust population growth. We have made this decision to satisfy the charlatans of the temples.

We will build new roads, new dams, new irrigation systems, nautical highways, village halls, basketball courts; We will improve existing drainages, roads, school buildings. This will keep the members of the House happy and content. This is also Our token of gratitude for the House’s blind loyalty.

We believe that we can do better to improve the status quo. Join Us as We lift this kingdom to Great World Status. We will not let anyone stand in Our way to glory and richness. We will not let anyone’s agenda to derail our plans. We are one kingdom under Our glorious reign.y Lords and

We are forwarding for the Parliament’s perusal Our annual budgetary requirements for the coming year. We expect that this Parliament will comply with Our royal requirements.

Lords and members of the House of Reprehensibles, may Mammon’s blessing rest upon your counsels.