I think not everyone knows that I dig Japanese boy bands. They are so funny and corny and hilarious, that I cannot help but laugh or at least smile. Unfortunately that does not apply to Western boy bands. Don’t get me wrong. I passed through that time when Backstreet Boys and Westlife were kings of the airwaves, though there was Hanson and the Moffats. But yeah, I’m stuck with Japanese boy bands. They make me laugh still. Proof? Look at this one. Hilarious.

So, when I heard about Altar Boyz, my reaction was, watzdat? I mean, it sounded like a gangsta group of altar boys, and oh boy, no wonder Ratzinger was elected Pope. So googling around, I found that it was actually a musical that attempted to answer a simple question (so simple that I smacked my forehead and said “oo nga no?”): what if there is a Christian boy band?

So there I was at Onstage Greenbelt last night, seated at center for a preview, and a rather cheeky voice blared something cheeky, announcing that the Altar Boyz would electrify audiences within two minutes. There I became confused: is this a musical or is this a concert? Dummy, my rational side chided me, it was the concept of the play. Yeah, must be due to an empty stomach.

So the lights were turned off, the band started playing, and five guys began singing and dancing. And then it was laughter galore, thanks to the members of the Altar Boyz.

The play-within-a-concert (or is it a concert-within-a-play) is entertaining, funny, and hilarious but with a serious undertone, as satires should. It plays on the boyband stereotypes, from matinee idol leader, to a gay member, to an ethnic member. Add religion to the mix, and you get satire at its best.

There were some points when I couldn’t understand the lyrics; it really is hard to sing while dancing, and the reason why I like Japanese boy bands – they do that all the time. Also, it must be due to the mic that the actors were using, though during spoken parts, I could hear them clearly. And it is not the acoustics, either. So yeah, it must be the dancing routine. For someone who had neither of both talents, I was amazed by the song-and-dance routines – a testament to the talent of the actors. And in this regard, Altar Boyz are more like Japanese boybands than Western.

Note that most boy bands don’t have good singing voices. Some of the actors might not have good voice, but I think I can’t say that with conviction. After all, it was a preview, so as in any undertaking, the first time is always hard. So maybe the next show there will be improvements.

The stage is simple, no-frills affair, which is uncharacteristic of boy band concerts. It decreases the believability factor, but it is not really that essential to the story. Besides, KISS principle is a good maxim to live by, even in design.

The choreography was awesome, more akin to Japanese boy bands. Cmon, Western boy bands don’t dance like that very much, though in this production, I think over-danced ha ha ha. Jason Zamora (of the Manoeuvers fame) did the choreography for Altar Boyz, and no wonder it was extreme (as compared to current/past boy bands).

	Matthew is the leader, has the matinee idol looks, though at the show, he looked subdued, or maybe he was overshadowed by the other characters. For example, when Matthew was singing a love song, everyone was laughing because of Mark’s antics. PJ Valerio plays as Matthew.
	Mark might be the token gay member, but he is a scene stealer. His solo song was hilarious, and the delivery was superb. Red Concepcion is a theater veteran, and his talent shines, giving justice to Mark’s character all throughout the concert/play/whatever you want to call it I don’t care.
	Juan is the ethnic member (Mexican), he has the funnier lines, specially when he is pointing at someone in the audience. Making him sport curly hair worked to emphasize his Mexican image. He had some funny moments, too. This is Reb Atadero’s first professional play, and not bad for the rookie.
	There’s this stereotype of dumb but good looking people, and Luke represents this image. He is also the Britney Spears-Lindsay Lohan-Paris Hilton of the bunch, complete with the use of “exhaustion” as euphemism for psychological disorder. He also reminds me of Ty Pennington for sheer hyperactiveness. I couldn’t understand his lines that much, maybe because it was slang. But his exaggerated delivery, together with the gestures, worked for me. Reuben Uy was once a member of a boy band (Akafellas) himself, though his character Luke is almost antithesis to the Akafellas image.
	Abraham is the odd-man out, being Jewish. At first I wondered why he was even in the play. Aside from being a plot device later on (sorry, no spoilers), he had his funny moments too. Chevy Mercado plays Abraham, and he danced so well that it was a surprise that he is not a dancer.

Did I like it? Very much. The play is funny, the actors did well, and the choreography extreme. You will enjoy watching, it gives a good laugh. I may have to remind you that if you are a fundamentalist Christian, leave your faith outside the theater before watching this play. For one time, just enjoy, mk?

And no, my views about boy bands have not changed a bit. Incidentally, New Kids on the Block is reuniting. Yay.

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Altar Boyz plays at the Onstage Theater Greenbelt 1 from April 4 to 27, 2008. Shows on Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00pm with Saturday and Sunday matinees at 3:30pm. Tickets are at Php550, Php350, and Php 250. For tickets, reservations, and information call the Rep office at 8870710 or Ticketworld at 891999. You may also log on to www.repertory-philippines.com or www.ticketworld.com.ph. Tickets are also available at the REP office located at 2316 Pasong Tamo Extension, Makati City and at the gate before every performance.

Supporting Repertory Philippines for this production are the City of Makati, Ayala Malls, Nu Skin Enterprises, and Bubba Gump in cooperation with Make Up For Ever, Clickthecity.com, Business Mirror, Lane Moving and Storage, Gourmet’s Coffee, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Crossover 105.1, 92.3 XFM, Jam 88.3, Mellow 94.7, NU 107, Spicy Fingers, Human, Basement Salon, Sarabia Optical, LMK Commercial, and Mayflower 1620 Enterprise.