Not the best that I could think of.

Mr. Vice President, Mr. Senate President and Senators of the Republic, Mr. Speaker and members of the House of Representatives, Mr. Chief Justice and justices of the Supreme Court, members of the Cabinet, Your Excellencies of the Diplomatic Corps, honored guests, ladies and gentlemen, mga kababayan:

First let me congratulate all the winners of the previous elections. I would like to mention Senator DayaNa Zooberry – he held on despite the rumormongering by the opposition. The truth was out and has proven the opposition wrong. The people have spoken and I call on Senator Zooberry’s critics to accept the people’s will and give him a chance to prove himself.

The 2007 elections has proven that this administration has the support of the people. The people have shown support by electing two-thirds of administration candidates for the House. The people have chosen to have an administration-dominated Senate. Those who believe otherwise are sore losers, and I suggest they get psychiatric health.

It has been three years since the Filipino people have overwhelmingly elected me as President. I am proud to say that I have delivered on my promises, and today I want to report on what I have accomplished and what this administration will do for the next three years.

Again, we delivered as promised when it comes to the economy. We have raised taxes, and thus we had a remarkable tax collection figures. When the tax collection fell against target, we fired the tax chief to show government officials that we mean business. Also, we want to prove to the business people that every government official is accountable. This administration will also like to show that it protects those who are performing well.

The stock market is growing and the Philippine peso is in its highest since seven years ago, signs that our economy is improving. I would like to credit the 40,000 out of 80 million Filipinos who invest in the Philippine Stock Exchange; they are the true Filipino patriots. Credit should also be given to the new heroes, the overseas Filipino workers, whose remittances keep our peso afloat. I also commend the Central Bank for intervening in the foreign exchange market to prop up the national currency.

I commend the 13th Congress for passing one of the most important piece of legislation of the century – the Human Security Act. Some people are afraid of this law. I say this – only those who are enemies of the State should be afraid of this law. The law is crafted specifically to deter enemies of the State from committing acts of terror.

As for those who fears that this administration will use this law against the opposition – fear not. The Anti-Terrorism Council oversees the implementation of this law, and it is composed of sane individuals. Unless you are declared enemies of the State, you have nothing to fear.

However, this should not be an excuse for the opposition to destabilize the country. This administration will not hesitate in using the Human Security Act to protect the people from destabilization.

We will continue building bridges and roads through the efforts of the congressmen. Whatever your province, your town, your district needs – ask your congressman, and it will be done.

Mga kababayan: There is nothing that we cannot do if we stand united. Let’s stop opposing and instead work together. Let’s move on. Thank you.

I am calling for reader participation. Write one paragraph in the comments about what you think the So Sorry State of the Nation Address should contain. It can be humorous, it can be sarcastic, it can be straight to the point, as long as it is not porn nor full of expletives.

Also, if you have written an alternative State of the Nation Address, leave the link at the comments.

RELATED READING:

State of the Nation
State Of The Nation’s Distress
Measure SONA against this
What’s the real state of the nation?

To see how cannibals live, Manuel L. Quezon III is live-blogging the carnage.

Two months after the 2007 elections, with senators and congressmen ready to constitute the 14th Congress, we must now take stock of what had happened and what is next for us.

The Maguindanao vote was not a dagdag-bawas operation; it was more of an insurance operation with no clear goal in the beginning. The operators at Maguindanao took things slowly, trying to gauge the situation by the hour.

Poll watchdogs-without-teeth Namfrel and PPCRV couldn’t even categorically say if elections happened in that province. What we can safely say is that Namfrel volunteers failed to witness the counting; that the Namfrel copies of the election returns were withheld; the news organizations were barred from witnessing the provincial canvass. And then later it was announced that the province produced a 12-0 sweep for the administration’s Team Unity; other candidates got zero votes, Luis “Chavit” Singson (an Ilocano) topped the polls, voter turnout was 90% – all statistical blips.

As the results from other places began trickling in, things became apparent: (1) most local officials affiliated with the administration won (most of them ran unopposed anyway), with several surprising and not-so-surprising upsets (Panlilio, Custodio, Binay, Lim, Robredo, among others); (2) the House remains in the administration’s side; and (3) the Senate would go opposition, 8-2-2. Also, the last slot in the Senate race is still up for grabs, and that it is possible to snatch it from the opposition. Mike Defensor and Ralph Recto conceded, leaving Juan Miguel Zubiri in the running.

Enter Lintang Bedol.

Remember that (1) Namfrel failed to witness how the Maguindanao vote was counted; (2) Namfrel volunteers failed to get the Namfrel copy of the election returns; (3) later on these returns appeared, but Namfrel refused to count them; and (4) Chavit Singson topped the TU sweep. But Singson was nowhere near the 12th slot; the Maguindano CoC will be useless. So why not lose it?

Which Lintang Bedol did. Or, it was stolen, he said. Everything – election returns, certificates of canvass, anything that would show that Singson topped Maguindanao.

The Comelec went on a field trip, looked for documents at Maguindanao, found the wall copies of the tallies, considered them authentic, and formed a special board to count these. Despite countless objections from opposition lawyers, the special board was like a charging train, unstoppable. Napag-utusan lang po (we were doing as ordered), the special board said.

And voila. Still a 12-0 TU sweep, and Zuburi topped the sweep. Amazing. Poor Chavit, he must be number 26 at the end. Or 27.

As a sidenote, one brave teacher by the name of Musa Dimasidsing cried foul, alleged that it was not a sweep, that non-TU candidates got votes in Pagalungan; he was later shot dead. But he was a man of no consequence for Zubiri and the Comelec, so they did take him seriously; they were not even bothered by his death.

Comelec was about to canvass the Maguindanao vote, Pimentel cried foul, went to the Supreme Court, and botched the job. Comelec was done canvassing the Maguindanao vote and was ready to proclaim Zubiri. Pimentel went to the Supreme Court again, and despite the glaring problems, the Court chose not to disenfranchise the operators. Zubiri was proclaimed.

It was a miracle, and Zubiri was thankful to God and Mama Mary. The Filipino people must be praying at the wrong God.

—

As in 2004, Maguindanao delivered. This time, the method was more brazen, more obvious, done in broad daylight – no need for phone calls. The operators knew the rule book by heart, and knew how to circumvent each rule. Heck, they did not have to do it clandestinely – no one cares anyway.

The opposition knew they would be cheated, but they don’t know how. The operators knew that what they did in 2004 was a one-time thing; the enemy was prepared and knew what to expect. The operators also knew that they got away with it; why not push the envelop further, and do it right in their noses? They did, and they got away with it.

So what is next? Push the envelop further. How? It depends. Maybe we should return to this topic by January, 2010, when we know who are the presidentiables. There’s a law mandating an automated elections. Hmm…. selling the software perhaps? Or an Easter egg? Or a backdoor?

To know why, read the entry and the comments at this blog post.

This should be a good test of the Human Security Act.