Category Archives: Journal

1
Apr

Mr. T brings patient out of coma

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Who’s afraid of Mr. T? Apparently, coma is afraid of Mr. T.

Mr. T, known for his tough guy roles (in The A-Team and WWE), apparently has mystical powers:

Former The A-Team star Mr. T once stunned a sick child’s family by bringing him out of a coma – after doctors begged the actor for help.

The poorly kid fell unconscious in Detroit, Michigan in the mid-1980s – and the only physical movement he made was in response to hearing Mr. T’s name.

And when the mohawked star was in town, he stopped by the hospital to visit the ill boy – with miraculous results.

He tells Empire magazine, “His family put toys around him and one of them was a Mr. T doll. And whenever my name came up, the boy moved his arm.

“Somebody told the doctors I was in town, so they called me down there. I closed the curtains and prayed. Then, as I was walking down the hall, the kid suddenly came out of the coma and hollered out.

“That was my supernatural moment.”

It must be the mohawk. And all that bling-bling.

24
Mar

How Holy Week was spent before and after 2003

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When my paternal grandmother was still alive, Holy Week meant trooping to her house in Novaliches. There was no Mindanao Avenue Extension back then, and the traffic was horrendous – it was like physical penitence there and then.

She moved to Novaliches during my elementary years – that means after EDSA 1. The space was a compound shaped like a hexagon, with two sides being walls, a gate, and three as houses attached to each other. The said compound was provided by an engineering and metal works company where my father worked as a lathe machine operator (and foreman in the later years until the company folded up, victim of the 1997 Asian financial crisis) for more than 20 years. My dad chose to house my grandmother (together with an aunt) there, while we stayed at the production compound, so that my mother could tend to the cafeteria business.

An uncle was able to work in South Korea, and had earned enough to buy a 120-square-meter house and lot also at Novaliches. The area looked like it was in the province – unpaved and narrow road, lots of plants and trees, and vacant lots at three sides of the house. It was a good bargain back then, too good to be true. And it was.

Anyway, despite the change in scenery, our three-day Holy Week stay remained the same – hot, humid, and boring. My grandmother being cerrado Catolico (well, not really) and spendthrift, we had nothing to do at all. And being a brood of five males, nothing to do meant boredom. We actually looked forward to going home.

There was a TV, but watching was not allowed (except for religious rituals being shown on TV, and besides, there’s no cable). There was a radio, but only being used by grandmother during Angelus. There was nothing much to read either – back then, I was not yet enamored to books, and I was incapable of getting any – except for some cheap comics. These are back issues that you could get at one peso per each copy.

combatronComics back then was different from what the current generation is used to. Titles include Aliwan, Funny Comics, Wakasan. Each issue contained either short story comics, or the latest installment in the novel. An issue could contain at most five stories. My favorite then was Funny Comics, because of Combatron. I used to buy new issues every Friday. Lost interest when the story was ended.

Going back, we were subject to traditional beliefs, specially on Good Fridays. No meat till Sunday, no bathing after 3PM of Good Friday till Easter Sunday, no TV, no radio. Sleeping was the only recourse we had. Oh, I do remember brick games (actually a variation of Tetris), which were the rage during the blackout years of late Cory Aquino-early Fidel Ramos era. They were good time wasters, and mom had to buy two, though I was not really good at it.

Around year 2002, things had changed. The tranquil place that was my grandmother’s house became squatter hell – the notorious lots (which I had written about here). Then my grandmother, then a robust old woman of 70, became sickly. She got little sleep; a cat running on the roof would wake her up.

Her death brought to end the traditional yearly hike to Novaliches. It also brought an end to quaint beliefs. Now, I spent the long holiday watching TV and uploading some new plugins. Unfortunately, I am becoming addicted to Korean drama. But that’s another story.

19
Mar

Contact is lost

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I had updated my phone’s firmware, and the stupid me forgot that I should back up my contacts first. Hence my phone carries no phone numbers.

If I had your contact numbers before, can you please give them to me again? You can send me a text message or a direct message via Twitter. KTHXBAI.

18
Mar

Annoyance of the Week: Hyperbolic news

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I long for the day when news, any kind of news, are presented in a straightforward manner. As far as I know, journalism is not a branch of creative writing.

Pacquiao, Marquez settle ‘unfinished business’
THE entire nation comes to a standstill, again, Sunday when its favorite son Manny “PacMan” Pacquiao challenges Mexican Juan Manuel Marquez for the latter’s World Boxing Council super featherweight championship at the posh Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A nation stops while a favorite son wages war
THE nation stopped while a favorite son waged war in the ring, ready to die for his country in an effort to bring honor and glory and to pursue his dream of national unity.

For One Day, Filipinos Were United Behind Manny Pacquiao
Said Pacquiao, “This fight was not just for me, this was for the Filipino people.” For one day, he united them.

Pacman reigns anew!
The whole country celebrated the triumph of Filipino ring icon Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao against Juan Manuel “Dinamita” Marquez of Mexico. Everybody was glued to their T.V. sets, radios and the Internet as Manny beat his Mexican foe.

Everything stops on Sunday for Pacquiao-Marquez fight
Daily routines, anti-administration rallies, crimes and military and police operations would come to a “halt” in the Philippines Sunday, as Filipinos watch their boxing idol Manny Pacquiao enter the ring for the title bout against Mexican slugger Juan Manuel Marquez.

Filipinos unite anew for Pacquiao, even for just a few hours
The Filipino people will once again be united, even for just a few hours, to support their boxing hero, Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao as he battles Mexico’s Juan Manuel Marquez in their much-awaited rematch on Saturday night (Sunday morning in the Philippines).

12
Mar

If she was a lolcat…

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JUS DIS MORNIN I GOT TEXT TELLIN ME 2 CHECK OUT SUM BLOG WIF JUICY GOSIP BOUT TEH SO CALLD “GUCCI GANG” CURIOUSLY ENOUGH I LOGGD ON AN READ ALL TEH GOSIP AN JUICY DETAILS. WHETHR OR NOT TEH STORIEZ WUZ TRUE I DIDN’T RLY CARE 2 FIND OUT NOR DO I CARE 2 BE INVOLVD. IT MAKEZ NO DIFFERENCE IN MAH LIFE HOO DID WUT 2 WHOM IT WUZ JUS LEISURE GOSIP READ AN I WUZ JUS WAN OV TEH LOTZ DA PEEPS HOO READ TEH BLOG BUT HALFWAY THRU I BECAME QUITE DISTURBD AS IT MADE ME REMINISSENT OV TEH NUMEROUS BLOGS I WUZ ONCE TEH HAWT TOPIC OV.

BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHR I MUST STRES TEH POINT DAT DIS AR TEH NOT BOUT MAH PREVIOUS ISSUE, BUT SIMPLY TEH POINT OV VIEW OV SOMEONE HOO HAS BEEN VICTIM OV VISHUS BLOGGIN AN BLOGGIN AS NEW COMMUNICASHUN MEDIUM. 2 DOSE OV U HOO R MAS/VOLUME OR DENSE (DAT’S TEH FYSICS FORMULA 4 DENSITY 2 DOSE HOO R CLUELES) AGAIN, I REPEAT DIS AR TEH NOT REACSHUN TOWARD MAH PAST ACSHUNS.

SO LET ME CONTINUE, FURST OV ALL I BLEEV IN DA FREEDOM OV SPEECH. BY ALL MEANZ SAY WUT U NED 2 SAY. UNFORTUNATELY 4 MOST OV TEH BLOGGERS WITHOUT ADVERTISIN U GIT PAID NOTHIN. IF IN FACT U DO GIT PAID DEN HOORAH 4 U. BUT BLOGGIN, ASIDE FRUM PEREZ HILTON AN TEH OTHR HOOJ TIEM BLOGGERS (U KNOE HOO U R) IZ 4 ME SLACKR JOB OR MEDIUM AN PASTIME 4 LONELY PEEPS 2 CONNECT. UNLES U’RE IN BLOODY SIBERIA OR IN GULAG PRISON, TRY STEPPIN OUTSIDE UR COMFORT ZONE AN TURN OFF DA LAPTOP OR PC, U JUS MITE FIND SUM REAL LIV PEEPS 2 TALK 2 INSTEAD OV TYPIN AWAY IN CYBR SPACE.

ON TEH FLIPSIDE BLOGGIN CAN BE GUD SOURCE OV INFORMASHUN AN GREAT WAI 2 EXCHANGE IDEAS. DIS I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE WHETHR IT BOUT POLITICS, FASHION, FUD OR WHATEVR TOPIC U CUD CHOOSE. FRIENDLY AN HEALTHY DISCUSHUNS R ALWAYS GREAT.

TEH DIFFERENCE TWEEN JOURNALIST AN BLOGGR IZ DAT JOURNALISTS HAS 2 ADHERE 2 CERTAIN GUIDELINEZ DAT GOVERN TEH FREEDOM OV SPEECH. AN WHATEVR JOURNALIST CHOOSEZ 2 RITE BOUT—BE IT POPULAR OR UNPOPULAR—WE DO NOT HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM AN R RESIGND 2 TEH FACT DAT WE HAS 2 TAEK AS MUTCH AS WE DISH OUT. HOWEVR, I SIMPLY DETEST PEEPS HOO PLACE VISHUS COMMENTS AN SLANDEROUS STATEMENTS IN BLOGS YET SIGN THEIR MESAGEZ AS ‘ANONYMOUS.’ IF U HAS SOMETHIN 2 SAY, DON’T HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAYM. IT’S JUS PLAIN COWARDICE OV U 2 DO SO. I HAS MOAR OV DEEP SENSE OV RESPECT 4 DOSE—HOWEVR UNPOPULAR OR VISHUS THEIR STATEMENTS R—HOO POST THEIR VIEWS WIF THEIR REAL NAMEZ AN MAK NO BONEZ BOUT IT. AT LEAST THEY STAND 4 SOMETHIN; I WUD RATHR TAEK IT FRUM THEM THAN TEH COWARDZ DAT HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAMEZ.

PERHAPS IT TEH FILIPINO CULCHUR 2 FOSTR BAKSTABBIN CUZ THEY NEVR MEEN WUT THEY SAY FACE 2 FACE. JUS HOW LOTZ DA TIEMS HAS U DEALT WIF CO-WERKERS HOO WILL SMILE IN UR FACE WHEN U ASK THEM 2 PERFORM TASK OR ENGAGE IN JUS PLAIN CONVERSASHUN, WHEN IN FACT THEY R QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE WIF TEH SITUASHUN AN R FORCD 2 DO WUT THEY ABSOLUTELY DETEST WIF SMILIN FACE. I GUES IT’S TEH KIND OV CULCHUR BROUGHT BOUT BY 300 YEERS OV SPANISH COLONIZASHUN. 2 WAN PARTICULAR BLOGGR OV SPANISH DESSENT BUT WIF AN INDIO FACE, DON’T ACT LIEK PENINSULAREZ AN QUOTE SPANISH WERDZ FRUM TEH GENERASHUN OV UR ABUELITA… JEEZ AN THEY CALL ME ELITIST. TEH SPANISH RULE IZ OVAR, GIT OVAR YOURSELF AN UR ESPAñOL RELATIVEZ HOO USD 2 HAS POWR… BUT I DIGRES (OOPS, MAH BAD…) LET’S MOOV FWD.

IT’S JUS LIEK ALL DIS HULLABALOO BOUT OUSTIN GMA. U DEPOSD ERAP IN EDSA DOS. NAO U’RE UNHAPPY WIF HIS REPLACEMENT. MAK UP UR MINDZ. (4 DA RECORD I’M NOT PRO ANYBODY I’M PRO WHATEVR LESR EVIL IZ OUT THAR). U CAN’T OVERTHROW WAN PRESIDENT DEN DECIDE U MADE MISTAEK WIF UR SECOND CHOICE. I’S NOT LIEK BUYIN GREEN HERMEZ BAG AN SUDDENLY DECIDIN, OOPS I SHUD HAS GOTTEN TEH BLACK WAN INSTEAD. UNFORTUNATELY DAT’S TEH KIND OV NASHUN WE HAS BECOME, BUNCH OV WISHY-WASHY WHINERS HOO WHINE BOUT EVRYTHIN UNDR TEH SUN AN FINDZ TEH BLOG SFERE 2 BE TEH NEW MEDIUM 4 WHININ. YEZ WE DO WUT WE HAS 2 DO AS NASHUN 2 GIT THINGS DUN AN STOP CORRUPSHUN AN EVIL (I’M ALL 4 DAT) BUT WE NEVR SEEM 2 BE HAPPEH WIF WUT WE HAS, HENCE TEH COMPLAININ AN WHININ. IT JUS NEVR STOPS.

I SUPPOSE I STARTD SUM KIND OV TREND BY ELICITIN NASTY COMMENTS AN REACSHUNS VIA BLOG CUZ OV MAH INDISCRESHUN. BUT IT SEEMS 2 BE COMFORTABLE MEDIUM 4 PEEPS 2 VENT THEIR ANGR ON JUS BOUT EVRYTHIN THEY DISAGREE WIF. I HAS BEEN CALLD AN IRRESPONSIBLE JOURNALIST SO WUT DOEZ DAT MAK U? IT EASY 2 HIDE UNDR TEH GUIZE OV ANONYMITY U CAN SAY JUS BOUT ANYTHIN U WANTS CUZ U HAS NO REPERCUSHUNS 2 DEAL WIF. IT’S EASY 2 HIDE BEHIND FALSE MONIKR ISN’T IT?

JUS THOT 2 PONDR ON… MAYBE I SHUD START AN ANONYMOUS BLOG AN RLY LET GO… BUT DEN AGAIN I DON’T WANTS 2 BE RESPONSIBLE 4 WURLD WAR 3 AN I WUD SLEEP MUTCH BETTR BEAN BRUTALLY HONEST IN UR FACE THAN HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM. WOULDN’T IT BE HILARIOUS IF I STARTD BLOG JUS 2 SHAEK THINGS UP AN GOT TON OV MONEY IN ADVERTISIN? IF I DOEZ DECIDE 2 DO DAT I THANK U ALL IN ADVANCE 4 INSPIRIN ME… I’M ALWAYS GLAS HALF FULL KINDA GURL ANYWAY…

Image by ICANHASCHEZZBURGER.COM, text by me
Translation by Speak LOLCAT

10
Mar

Annoyance of the Week: Cable to the sky of annoyance

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There are two reasons why Sky Cable ads annoy me.

One, they keep on plugging their freaking promos and subscription plans, but they also keep on making the fine print – their promos and premium plans do not cover CAMANAVA/Rizal areas. Yeah, I live in Caloocan, and no, I cannot join their promos, nor subscribe to their hideously-priced platinum plan. What a way to lose potential premium customers. Not that I have any plans of paying top buck for sucky channels anyway (even if I could afford it, which I cannot).

And the most annoying thing – they keep inserting their freaking commercials on non-Sky Cable channels. It can be most annoying, specially if they manage to interrupt a program that you are watching. While they only insert ads when the program is on a commercial break, on several occasions their ads were longer than the commercial break.

What annoying things have you experienced with Sky Cable?

7
Mar

Climb every mountain err.. stairs

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This happened two years ago, back when I was working at a place whose name is a misnomer. I arrived at the building where I was working a bit late than my usual time (that is, an hour before start of work). A lot of people were standing at the lobby, huddled in groups. Approaching the elevator, I found out why – all the elevators were offline for repairs. The building administrators assured in the memo released the night before that the elevators would be online within a hour.

I wasn’t able to read the memo beforehand, since I worked an every-other-day shift back then. And since it was just 10-20 minutes before shift starts, waiting was not an option. The fact that the office was on the 14th floor meant a long climb.

The climb was testament to my state of health back then. By the 10th floor, I was huffing and puffing, my legs refusing to take another step; there must be some credibility in the mind-over-body philosophy or else I might have given up at that point.

So I got in via the service stairs door. There was an RFID terminal there, so I tapped my card, and entered. I was sweating like a pig, and so I went to the toilet, using a roll of paper towel, and dried myself.

After that, I went to my little kingdom in the office, and surprised to see another officemate, who just arrived. She appeared as if she exerted no effort – she used the elevator.

And to add insult to injury: apparently, the RFID at the service entrance does not log the time when an employee enters. So of course I was “late.”

PS:

Since most buildings in the Philippines do not have a 13th floor, how many floors are there in a 30-story building?

1
Mar

Security breach

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I went to Makati yesterday with two friends. After looking around, listening to speeches, gawking at faces and merchandise, and met some prominent personalities, we went to this strip mall to grab something to eat. The fastfood store has two doors – one outside, at the side walk, the other inside the mall. The mall entrance had a lone guard. The door to the fastfood facing the sidewalk had no guard, and you can actually get in the mall without undergoing security check.

That is what we call a security breach. Arbet, welcome to the Enchanted Kingdom of Gloria Arroyo.

24
Feb

Annoyance of the Week: Broken database

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This week, I got two phone calls from telemarketers of this cash loans firm.

Day 1:

Male telemarketer: Hello, is this Mr. Arbert (sic) Bernardo?

Me: (oh no, not again). Yeah, speaking.

MT: Hi, sir, this is *name of telermarketer* for *name of company*. You have pre-qualified for a cash loan…

Me: Sorry, not interested.

MT: But why, sir?

Me: I don’t have a need for a loan.

MT: OK, thanks sir.

At least the guy surrendered easily and with grace.

The next day:

Female Telemarketer: Hello, is this Mr. Arbert Bernardo?

Me: (again?) Yeah.

FT: Sir, this is *name of telemarketer* from *name of company (same as yesterday)*. Please be informed that you have pre-qualified for a cash loan.

Me: Sorry, not interested.

FT: But why, sir?

Me: I don’t have a need for such a loan.

FT: Don’t you have any credit card bills to pay, sir?

Me: None, of course (though I have one, but it is on an installment basis).

FT: Can you recommend anyone sir? (This girl’s tenacity is annoying)

Me: Uh, no.

FT: If so sir, here’s my number *gives the number*.

Me: Ok.

FT: Thank you, sir. Bye.

The number’s forgotten, of course.

13
Feb

Bitterness to the extreme

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Got this via SMS at an ungodly hour (1:58AM) from an unknown source.

Lord,

Kung wala kayong ibibigay na ka-date sa akin ngayong Valentines…

Please…

Dapat lahat ng friends ko,

Wala rin!

Damay-damay na to! Wa ha ha ha!

I almost threw the phone away. Almost.