18
Mar

Annoyance of the Week: Hyperbolic news

I long for the day when news, any kind of news, are presented in a straightforward manner. As far as I know, journalism is not a branch of creative writing.

Pacquiao, Marquez settle ‘unfinished business’
THE entire nation comes to a standstill, again, Sunday when its favorite son Manny “PacMan” Pacquiao challenges Mexican Juan Manuel Marquez for the latter’s World Boxing Council super featherweight championship at the posh Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A nation stops while a favorite son wages war
THE nation stopped while a favorite son waged war in the ring, ready to die for his country in an effort to bring honor and glory and to pursue his dream of national unity.

For One Day, Filipinos Were United Behind Manny Pacquiao
Said Pacquiao, “This fight was not just for me, this was for the Filipino people.” For one day, he united them.

Pacman reigns anew!
The whole country celebrated the triumph of Filipino ring icon Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao against Juan Manuel “Dinamita” Marquez of Mexico. Everybody was glued to their T.V. sets, radios and the Internet as Manny beat his Mexican foe.

Everything stops on Sunday for Pacquiao-Marquez fight
Daily routines, anti-administration rallies, crimes and military and police operations would come to a “halt” in the Philippines Sunday, as Filipinos watch their boxing idol Manny Pacquiao enter the ring for the title bout against Mexican slugger Juan Manuel Marquez.

Filipinos unite anew for Pacquiao, even for just a few hours
The Filipino people will once again be united, even for just a few hours, to support their boxing hero, Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao as he battles Mexico’s Juan Manuel Marquez in their much-awaited rematch on Saturday night (Sunday morning in the Philippines).

12
Mar

If she was a lolcat…

JUS DIS MORNIN I GOT TEXT TELLIN ME 2 CHECK OUT SUM BLOG WIF JUICY GOSIP BOUT TEH SO CALLD “GUCCI GANG” CURIOUSLY ENOUGH I LOGGD ON AN READ ALL TEH GOSIP AN JUICY DETAILS. WHETHR OR NOT TEH STORIEZ WUZ TRUE I DIDN’T RLY CARE 2 FIND OUT NOR DO I CARE 2 BE INVOLVD. IT MAKEZ NO DIFFERENCE IN MAH LIFE HOO DID WUT 2 WHOM IT WUZ JUS LEISURE GOSIP READ AN I WUZ JUS WAN OV TEH LOTZ DA PEEPS HOO READ TEH BLOG BUT HALFWAY THRU I BECAME QUITE DISTURBD AS IT MADE ME REMINISSENT OV TEH NUMEROUS BLOGS I WUZ ONCE TEH HAWT TOPIC OV.

BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHR I MUST STRES TEH POINT DAT DIS AR TEH NOT BOUT MAH PREVIOUS ISSUE, BUT SIMPLY TEH POINT OV VIEW OV SOMEONE HOO HAS BEEN VICTIM OV VISHUS BLOGGIN AN BLOGGIN AS NEW COMMUNICASHUN MEDIUM. 2 DOSE OV U HOO R MAS/VOLUME OR DENSE (DAT’S TEH FYSICS FORMULA 4 DENSITY 2 DOSE HOO R CLUELES) AGAIN, I REPEAT DIS AR TEH NOT REACSHUN TOWARD MAH PAST ACSHUNS.

SO LET ME CONTINUE, FURST OV ALL I BLEEV IN DA FREEDOM OV SPEECH. BY ALL MEANZ SAY WUT U NED 2 SAY. UNFORTUNATELY 4 MOST OV TEH BLOGGERS WITHOUT ADVERTISIN U GIT PAID NOTHIN. IF IN FACT U DO GIT PAID DEN HOORAH 4 U. BUT BLOGGIN, ASIDE FRUM PEREZ HILTON AN TEH OTHR HOOJ TIEM BLOGGERS (U KNOE HOO U R) IZ 4 ME SLACKR JOB OR MEDIUM AN PASTIME 4 LONELY PEEPS 2 CONNECT. UNLES U’RE IN BLOODY SIBERIA OR IN GULAG PRISON, TRY STEPPIN OUTSIDE UR COMFORT ZONE AN TURN OFF DA LAPTOP OR PC, U JUS MITE FIND SUM REAL LIV PEEPS 2 TALK 2 INSTEAD OV TYPIN AWAY IN CYBR SPACE.

ON TEH FLIPSIDE BLOGGIN CAN BE GUD SOURCE OV INFORMASHUN AN GREAT WAI 2 EXCHANGE IDEAS. DIS I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE WHETHR IT BOUT POLITICS, FASHION, FUD OR WHATEVR TOPIC U CUD CHOOSE. FRIENDLY AN HEALTHY DISCUSHUNS R ALWAYS GREAT.

TEH DIFFERENCE TWEEN JOURNALIST AN BLOGGR IZ DAT JOURNALISTS HAS 2 ADHERE 2 CERTAIN GUIDELINEZ DAT GOVERN TEH FREEDOM OV SPEECH. AN WHATEVR JOURNALIST CHOOSEZ 2 RITE BOUT—BE IT POPULAR OR UNPOPULAR—WE DO NOT HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM AN R RESIGND 2 TEH FACT DAT WE HAS 2 TAEK AS MUTCH AS WE DISH OUT. HOWEVR, I SIMPLY DETEST PEEPS HOO PLACE VISHUS COMMENTS AN SLANDEROUS STATEMENTS IN BLOGS YET SIGN THEIR MESAGEZ AS ‘ANONYMOUS.’ IF U HAS SOMETHIN 2 SAY, DON’T HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAYM. IT’S JUS PLAIN COWARDICE OV U 2 DO SO. I HAS MOAR OV DEEP SENSE OV RESPECT 4 DOSE—HOWEVR UNPOPULAR OR VISHUS THEIR STATEMENTS R—HOO POST THEIR VIEWS WIF THEIR REAL NAMEZ AN MAK NO BONEZ BOUT IT. AT LEAST THEY STAND 4 SOMETHIN; I WUD RATHR TAEK IT FRUM THEM THAN TEH COWARDZ DAT HIDE BEHIND FALSE NAMEZ.

PERHAPS IT TEH FILIPINO CULCHUR 2 FOSTR BAKSTABBIN CUZ THEY NEVR MEEN WUT THEY SAY FACE 2 FACE. JUS HOW LOTZ DA TIEMS HAS U DEALT WIF CO-WERKERS HOO WILL SMILE IN UR FACE WHEN U ASK THEM 2 PERFORM TASK OR ENGAGE IN JUS PLAIN CONVERSASHUN, WHEN IN FACT THEY R QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE WIF TEH SITUASHUN AN R FORCD 2 DO WUT THEY ABSOLUTELY DETEST WIF SMILIN FACE. I GUES IT’S TEH KIND OV CULCHUR BROUGHT BOUT BY 300 YEERS OV SPANISH COLONIZASHUN. 2 WAN PARTICULAR BLOGGR OV SPANISH DESSENT BUT WIF AN INDIO FACE, DON’T ACT LIEK PENINSULAREZ AN QUOTE SPANISH WERDZ FRUM TEH GENERASHUN OV UR ABUELITA… JEEZ AN THEY CALL ME ELITIST. TEH SPANISH RULE IZ OVAR, GIT OVAR YOURSELF AN UR ESPAñOL RELATIVEZ HOO USD 2 HAS POWR… BUT I DIGRES (OOPS, MAH BAD…) LET’S MOOV FWD.

IT’S JUS LIEK ALL DIS HULLABALOO BOUT OUSTIN GMA. U DEPOSD ERAP IN EDSA DOS. NAO U’RE UNHAPPY WIF HIS REPLACEMENT. MAK UP UR MINDZ. (4 DA RECORD I’M NOT PRO ANYBODY I’M PRO WHATEVR LESR EVIL IZ OUT THAR). U CAN’T OVERTHROW WAN PRESIDENT DEN DECIDE U MADE MISTAEK WIF UR SECOND CHOICE. I’S NOT LIEK BUYIN GREEN HERMEZ BAG AN SUDDENLY DECIDIN, OOPS I SHUD HAS GOTTEN TEH BLACK WAN INSTEAD. UNFORTUNATELY DAT’S TEH KIND OV NASHUN WE HAS BECOME, BUNCH OV WISHY-WASHY WHINERS HOO WHINE BOUT EVRYTHIN UNDR TEH SUN AN FINDZ TEH BLOG SFERE 2 BE TEH NEW MEDIUM 4 WHININ. YEZ WE DO WUT WE HAS 2 DO AS NASHUN 2 GIT THINGS DUN AN STOP CORRUPSHUN AN EVIL (I’M ALL 4 DAT) BUT WE NEVR SEEM 2 BE HAPPEH WIF WUT WE HAS, HENCE TEH COMPLAININ AN WHININ. IT JUS NEVR STOPS.

I SUPPOSE I STARTD SUM KIND OV TREND BY ELICITIN NASTY COMMENTS AN REACSHUNS VIA BLOG CUZ OV MAH INDISCRESHUN. BUT IT SEEMS 2 BE COMFORTABLE MEDIUM 4 PEEPS 2 VENT THEIR ANGR ON JUS BOUT EVRYTHIN THEY DISAGREE WIF. I HAS BEEN CALLD AN IRRESPONSIBLE JOURNALIST SO WUT DOEZ DAT MAK U? IT EASY 2 HIDE UNDR TEH GUIZE OV ANONYMITY U CAN SAY JUS BOUT ANYTHIN U WANTS CUZ U HAS NO REPERCUSHUNS 2 DEAL WIF. IT’S EASY 2 HIDE BEHIND FALSE MONIKR ISN’T IT?

JUS THOT 2 PONDR ON… MAYBE I SHUD START AN ANONYMOUS BLOG AN RLY LET GO… BUT DEN AGAIN I DON’T WANTS 2 BE RESPONSIBLE 4 WURLD WAR 3 AN I WUD SLEEP MUTCH BETTR BEAN BRUTALLY HONEST IN UR FACE THAN HIDE BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS NAYM. WOULDN’T IT BE HILARIOUS IF I STARTD BLOG JUS 2 SHAEK THINGS UP AN GOT TON OV MONEY IN ADVERTISIN? IF I DOEZ DECIDE 2 DO DAT I THANK U ALL IN ADVANCE 4 INSPIRIN ME… I’M ALWAYS GLAS HALF FULL KINDA GURL ANYWAY…

Image by ICANHASCHEZZBURGER.COM, text by me
Translation by Speak LOLCAT

10
Mar

Annoyance of the Week: Cable to the sky of annoyance

There are two reasons why Sky Cable ads annoy me.

One, they keep on plugging their freaking promos and subscription plans, but they also keep on making the fine print – their promos and premium plans do not cover CAMANAVA/Rizal areas. Yeah, I live in Caloocan, and no, I cannot join their promos, nor subscribe to their hideously-priced platinum plan. What a way to lose potential premium customers. Not that I have any plans of paying top buck for sucky channels anyway (even if I could afford it, which I cannot).

And the most annoying thing – they keep inserting their freaking commercials on non-Sky Cable channels. It can be most annoying, specially if they manage to interrupt a program that you are watching. While they only insert ads when the program is on a commercial break, on several occasions their ads were longer than the commercial break.

What annoying things have you experienced with Sky Cable?

24
Feb

Annoyance of the Week: Broken database

This week, I got two phone calls from telemarketers of this cash loans firm.

Day 1:

Male telemarketer: Hello, is this Mr. Arbert (sic) Bernardo?

Me: (oh no, not again). Yeah, speaking.

MT: Hi, sir, this is *name of telermarketer* for *name of company*. You have pre-qualified for a cash loan…

Me: Sorry, not interested.

MT: But why, sir?

Me: I don’t have a need for a loan.

MT: OK, thanks sir.

At least the guy surrendered easily and with grace.

The next day:

Female Telemarketer: Hello, is this Mr. Arbert Bernardo?

Me: (again?) Yeah.

FT: Sir, this is *name of telemarketer* from *name of company (same as yesterday)*. Please be informed that you have pre-qualified for a cash loan.

Me: Sorry, not interested.

FT: But why, sir?

Me: I don’t have a need for such a loan.

FT: Don’t you have any credit card bills to pay, sir?

Me: None, of course (though I have one, but it is on an installment basis).

FT: Can you recommend anyone sir? (This girl’s tenacity is annoying)

Me: Uh, no.

FT: If so sir, here’s my number *gives the number*.

Me: Ok.

FT: Thank you, sir. Bye.

The number’s forgotten, of course.

13
Feb

Bitterness to the extreme

Got this via SMS at an ungodly hour (1:58AM) from an unknown source.

Lord,

Kung wala kayong ibibigay na ka-date sa akin ngayong Valentines…

Please…

Dapat lahat ng friends ko,

Wala rin!

Damay-damay na to! Wa ha ha ha!

I almost threw the phone away. Almost.

8
Feb

Annoyance of the Week: Huli ka!

Yesterday, I got a call in the office.

Telemarketer (T): Hello, is this ARBERT (sic) Bernardo?

Me (M): Speaking. (Annoyed by the mispronounced name.)

T: Hi, sir, this is ***** from *bank*, I would like to follow up on your credit card application.

M: What credit card application? (I have an idea this is just an agent who knows nothing but my misspelled name and office phone.)

T: You have a pending application with us sir.

M. Oh, ok. (Damn right I have.)

T: Do you have another credit card, sir?

M: Yes, from *bank 2*.

T: Aside from that?

M: That’s all. (Actually I have 3 more from different banks, but why should I tell her?)

T: Sir, may I know your birth date?

M: But I thought I have a pending application? It should be right there, right?

T: (Begins mumbling and fumbling) I have to verify sir.

M: There is no application, right?

T: (Surrenders) Sir, our supervisor just gave me your name and phone number.

M: Sorry, not interested.

T: Ok, sir.

End of call.

13
Jan

Annoyance of the Week: Trip to a memorial plan

Yesterday, I wasted two hours of my life by allowing shady marketers to entice me to get a memorial plan. Yes, a memorial plan. Now, there’s nothing wrong in getting one – I think everyone should at least prepare for the inevitable. It is the way they attempt to entice me that was annoying.

The story actually happened a month ago. Someone called at the office, claiming that she works for a certain hotel chain, that I won a free gift certificate to stay in one of their hotels. Sounds good, no? All I had to do was to claim it at their office. Now, I was lazy back then, so I made a lot of excuses. My final salvo was to tell the lady to call me up again by December 26. December 26 came and went, and no phone calls. Yes, finally in the clear.

Or so I thought. I got a call last Thursday. It was the same lady, and so I agreed to drop by yesterday. There were no strings attached, nothing to pay, the lady assured me. All they ask from me was to spare them 90 minutes for some audio-video presentation. Wow, was it that long?

So I went there, filled up a form, and waited. A few minutes later, a guy introduced himself, and we went to this table. There were several other tables, most of them with people. The guy started some small talk, like what a good salesman would do. With the talks going nowhere, with the guy bombarding me with questions whether I had questions, he then introduced their companies, and then he went on to the memorial plan. He kept on giving corny and semi-offensive jokes about death (like if you refuse this offer, what if you die when you get out of their office). I think you get the picture.

It was like Family First.

No, they got nothing from me; I got to say no. Please remind me to say no when another telemarketer calls me.

Oh, they did allow me to pick from a fish bowl a destination for the free GC. Well, it was for a far place, and the GC will prolly be left unused. One, you have to make a reservation within 14 days from the date the GC was issued. I wish I could make a decision within that time frame. Second, it was a far location, so it really needs a lot of planning if I want to go. Fourteen days are not enough. Oh well.